Red Lipstick
by ThatRemainsToBeSeen
Summary: A Pepper Potts/Tony Stark oneshot. There is only one colour, ONE colour that Pepper Potts hates more than anything else in life. Unfortunately, Tony always seems to forget which one... Rated K- because I don't do dirty, smutty stuff :


**Red Lipstick – Chapter One**

"Pepper! Pepper! Wake up, Pepper!" The highly excited voice of Tony Stark echoed through Pepper Potts' still half asleep mind, dragging her from a dream involving her, Tony and cake. LOTS of cake… "Pepper!" came his voice again, but this time it was from somewhere near her right ear. Scowling and muttering to herself under her breath – Tony caught words like "Mmm" and "Must try that sometime…" She sat up in bed and shook her head to rid herself of dirty thoughts about her oh-so-handsome boss, her long red curls bobbing about and flying everywhere. "What?" she snapped, but only half-serious, the look on Tony's face was cute enough to melt the North Pole. "Do you not even know what day it is?" he questioned, cocking his head to the side and pulling a puzzled expression, "You're normally so organized! Oh my God! Pepper Potts has forgotten what day it is!" He laughed like a maniac, deliberately provoking Pepper to do something like hit him, only not too painfully… "Actually Mr Stark, I do happen to know what day it is. It's Christmas Day!" Tony frowned slightly; _Mr Stark…_ He let out the tiniest of sighs, which was broken by Pepper suddenly clambering out of her bed with a sudden burst of energy and grabbing his hand, before hauling him out of the room. "Come on then, let's go see what Santa Stark's left" she said with a smile, which Tony returned with a massive grin.

As Tony and Pepper entered the living room, the large curtains that covered the window-wall on the far side parted majestically as though unveiling a grand new statue. The sight that lay on the over side of the thick, spotless glass made them both halt their conversation about cake and whisper in unison: "Wow…" Outside, the snow was falling thick and fast, turning all of New York a pure, saintly white as far as their two pairs of eye could see. The snowflakes were simply _huge; _Pepper had never seen them this big in her life. They were twisting and twirling gracefully outside in the Arctic air, as though performing a beautiful ballet. The slate-grey sky draped over the city like a curtain, making the snow seem particularly bright. Tony and Pepper both took a couple of steps towards the vast window, their mouths slightly open, to take in more of the beautiful scenery which had caught them both by surprise.

They remained at the window for a few more minutes, barely noticing the enormous 10ft Christmas Tree twinkling incessantly behind them, as though demanding that they turn away from the window and gaze upon _its_ beauty instead. The peaceful silence did last long, however, as Jarvis soon put a stop to it. "Good morning, Mr Stark, the time is 9:03 AM; the weather in New York is very grey and overcast, with high chances of snow…"

"High chances of snow? Oh I'm glad you're here to tell me these things…"Tony replied with heavy sarcasm, while Pepper giggled quietly beside him. "Thank you, master. It is my purpose to serve you…"

"Useless piece of technology…"

"…In the best way that I can."

"Oh really? How would you like it if I _accidentally _infected youwith every single virus I can lay my hands on without being arrested?"

"Well really Mr Stark, there is no need for such rudeness. You've never expressed any unhappiness with my work before…" Jarvis never got to finish the rest of his sentence, as Tony had pulled the plug on it. Literally. Tony stood beside the little hole in the wall where the controls to, well, _control _Jarvis were stashed, happily brandishing the plug he'd just extracted from the socket. "Meh, computers. Who needs 'em?" he queried as he strode back over to Pepper, who was now giggling uncontrollably in the corner. "Yeah, he's really funny, isn't he? He should have been on stage" he said as he pulled Pepper over to the Christmas tree that was sparkling and glowing triumphantly at them, clearly delighted at the arrogant talking terror that was Jarvis being silenced. "Come on Pepper, _presents!" _Tony enthused, as he plonked himself down at the foot of the great green tree and pulled Pepper down beside him. "Mr Stark… Really, I…"

"Really I think you should be quiet and open your gifts from me." Tony said, as he threw her a small, oblong parcel wrapped pristinely in gold wrapping paper with the words "Merry Christmas" etched upon it in swirly red writing.

"Well, whatever _was _in this parcel is broken now…" she muttered, as she picked it up and turned it over in her hands. Was this a joke? Should she dare open it? Would this lovely gesture turn out to be a mean prank that would leave her embarrassed and Tony in hysterical fits of laughter? Pepper recalled with a shudder the last time she'd received a gift from Tony Stark:

_It was her birthday last year, when she'd turned up at his house for work and instead of the normal, awkward conversation at the start of the day with some girl tumbling out of his bedroom dressed in nothing but the bed sheet, she had been greeted with another beautifully wrapped gift as soon as she set foot in the vast living room. Tony had then swiftly slipped her bag off her shoulder and ordered her to go into his bedroom, open the present and try it on. Reluctantly, she strode into his bedroom, closed the sliding door and began examining the package. When all her doubts were cleared, she ripped it open to find a glittering green dress lying innocently on the bed. "Oh wow!" she had exclaimed, before flinging off her white shirt and black pencil skirt and slipping the green number on. She had looked about the room and noticed the distinct lack of reflective surfaces, but even then she didn't twig why Tony had removed the mirror from his room. She stepped over to the door and pressed the little button at the side and it slid to the left with a pleasant whoosh noise, to reveal the bright living room on the other side and a very smug Tony Stark, with a grin larger than the Cheshire cat's smeared across his face. "What?" questioned Pepper as his smirk failed to budge. "What?" she asked again, and that's when she suddenly caught sight of herself in the huge glass window-wall and for one second, one mental second, she genuinely wanted to commit murder. The dress was incredibly short, ending a good six inches above her knees and was about as low-cut as you can get. There were no sleeves and several slashes down both sides, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. Literally. She might as well have had no clothes on at all, for all this lousy scrap of material claimed to be a dress. "TONY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL?" _

"_You" was his simple reply, the smirk growing wider until… BAM!_

_He collapsed on the floor, blood spurting out his nose like a fountain, as Pepper stalked back into the bedroom to get changed…_

Pepper smiled to herself at the memory. Tony had feared her from that day forward, giving her much more respect than any other employee of his. He seemed to be thinking the exact same thing, as he then said "It's alright, I've learned my lesson. I had some help choosing it, you know. Remember Natasha Romanoff? She said she thought this would suit you, she also said Merry Christmas and sorry about the shoes. What on Earth was she on about shoes for?" Tony was rambling, and Pepper knew it.

"Never mind. So, are you sure this thing is quite safe? It's not gonna punch me or make a loud noise or anything?" Pepper asked, still wary of the package's contents.

"No! Of course not! What_ever _gave you that impression?" he asked innocently, batting his eyelashes for good measure. "Natasha helped pick this did she?" Pepper mused, slightly picking at the wrapping paper. "Yup" he replied, popping the 'p' at the end and making Pepper giggle feebly. "Well… Let's just say, I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than have a conversation with her. I think I may have told her that, actually…" she tailed off as she carefully slid her perfectly manicured index fingernail under a fold and dragged it neatly along the seam; years of opening envelopes had left its mark.

She repeated the manoeuvre on the other seam, before pulling the paper off completely and holding the contents up to the light to examine it. In her hand was a small, shiny black cardboard box with "Rimmel London" printed on the side in bold silver letters. Pepper creased her neatly plucked eyebrows with confusion. She'd never been to London in her life, hell she'd never even been outside the _USA…_ "What 'Rimmel London'?" she asked, looking up at Tony with large, green eyes. "I don't know… Natasha said you'd like it" he replied with what he hoped was a casual shrug, while inside he was having a party. _Yes! She's confused! Stage one, complete! _He thought, as he watched Pepper peel off the clear sticker sealing the box and prise it open, before tipping what lay inside onto her palm.

Pepper's confused gaze softened at what she saw. It was a lipstick. _"Wow…" _she thought, as she turned it over in her hands before pulling the shiny black lid off, _"He's actually got me a _worthwhile _present" _She twisted the bottom end of it anticlockwise, eager to see what shade he'd got. Anything should be fine, she suited most colours. But there was one colour that she really _detested _among all others. But hopefully, Tony knew that, after all she'd told him enough times, so when the greasy little thing poked its tip up over the casing, Pepper felt the biggest sense of disappointment imaginable.

It was Red.

Not just any red, but a bright, vibrant, tarty, slutty, passionate, angry (and many other words that came into her mind which I won't repeat) shade of red. Pepper sighed. She _loathed _red. Couldn't stand it. The sight of it made her want to go and knock someone into next week. No, next _year._ To Pepper, everything bad in the world was red, hence why she refused to speak to Tony for a week when he decided to fly around in a _Red _and Gold suit and call himself "Iron Man" and then proceed to poison himself with palladium. Red was also the colour of the one thing on the entire planet she was deathly allergic to; strawberries. Tony cleared his throat expectantly, as Pepper realised she had been glaring at an inanimate object for quite some time. "Well… Do you like it?" he asked warily, eyeing the death glare on Pepper's face and the violent way in which she screwed the pillar-box red lipstick back into the casing and snapped the lid shut. "Well, it's… Different…" she muttered, as she made an excuse to get up and go for a shower; something along the lines of "Not _everybody _can sit around doing nothing all day".

Tony heaved a heavy sigh when Pepper exited the room, followed by a loud face palm. _Why can't I do anything right? _He wondered to himself, as he hauled himself up off the floor and headed in the opposite direction that Pepper had stalked off in, to his bedroom to pull on some old clothes for working in. Then, he'd go down to the workshop, blast Kiss as loud as his ears could take, and stay there the entire day. _"Yes…" _He thought to himself, _"That sounds like a plan"._


End file.
